Living Teachable Moments

Today was....trying. The day will make its way into numerous teaching moments I am sure.

I got to rehearsal and assumed the position. Script open - mouth closed. We waited about an hour for one of the actors who was held up at the doctor. I am not sure why we did not start the read without her, but we didn't. Peggy, the playwright, brought in all new pages. So, it was going to be a day of getting acquainted with the new material and pounding out table work.

After the read through, Peggy left and the discussion began. The actors had thoughts on the new version of the script and specific character development. They wanted to ask Peggy, so they asked if she could come back in and work with them. It was the most productive hour I have witnessed yet. Numerous elements became clear for the cast AND the playwright. I cannot figure out why this leg of the collaboration did not happen earlier? Why were these two parts of the production puzzle obstructed by a director and dramaturg up until now. It is such a gift to have the playwright there each day; yet it has taken three weeks for her to be allowed to speak and listen to the actors.

When she left, I asked the dramaturg about one line that has not been addressed, but has created obvious confusion for the audience. I was told that only one member of the audience "did not get it" and that Peggy had other things to worry about. At that point, I thought, "why am I here today?" They don't need me on book. I cannot ask questions, let alone throw an idea out. So I asked the dramaturg if my presence was really needed as I had other projects to work on. She told me that I needed to discuss my concerns with the director.

I pride myself on being a lifetime student. I profess to know very little and over deliver when asked. One learns so much more that way. I have applied this "Sylvin Schetnan Philosophy" to this opportunity. Instead of trying to demonstrate my experience and prove my competence, I have continued to sit in the corner quietly, fetch tea, run lines and soak up the approaches of everyone in the room.

However, today was different. I have so many questions and a few ideas. They have asked three night's of audiences what they think; yet, I have not spoken a word. I thought I would give the director the benefit of my assumption and today to get involved. So, I threw out one small nugget of observation. The director looked at me as if I had passed gas...loudly. Enough.

At the next break, the director came over and asked me to fetch her a tea. I did. When I returned, I asked her if she needed anything else as I was going to take off. She did not take it well. She told me that I did not understand the role of an assistant director. I agreed. I think one of her sentences actually was, "An AD sits their ass down in the seat until I need assistance." I told her that after 3 weeks, I couldn't imagine what was going to change. I could not have been nicer. It was a long and frustrating conversation - for her. I was fine with it. I got my things, told her I would be late tomorrow because I had plans that overlapped and left.

There was a lot of weighing of pros and cons for me before I decided to leave. I want to make it clear that this was not a rash decision. I was cordial, logical and direct. I AM LEARNING
SO MUCH!!!

When I left, a couple of the actors asked me where I was going. I said that - maybe - I would see them tomorrow. One of them whispered a "I don't blame you" comment. Another said simply, "Take me with you." They know.

I want to make it clear that I did not abandon the project. I will be at some of the rehearsal tomorrow. I will probably even bring tea for everyone. However, since the director told me that an assistant director is not part of the creative process, I will decide when I want to volunteer my time to the actors and the Women's Project.