Rules. Lessons. Advice. In January, while playing with other grown-ups at the Sundance Film Festival, I was reminded of my own rules, lessons and advice. This is what I get when those other grown-ups used to be my students. After 23 years of teaching, I am proud to call former student…friends.
So, three (Christen, Cassie and Angela) of my best and brightest joined me in Park City. After a less than stellar screening, Christen asked for my thoughts. I must have grimaced because she followed with, “Do we have to save it to the bus? “ I laughed, I cried, I had a catharsis.
Rules.
It is thirteen years after her graduation, and she is still adhering to rules I taught her when she was 14. “Save it for the bus” meant that my dear oral interpers or actors were not permitted to critique the competition until - you got it - they were safely in the van (or bus) after the event. Once in the vehicle, they were allowed to vent. …for ten minutes. Comments came quick. They were brutal, judgmental and petty. Then, they were to assess the learning curve, make personal and presentation adjustments, and let it go.
“Save it for the van” is still sound, applicable advice for most situations. One should always put some time and space between experiencing frustrations and expressing them. Furthermore, placing expiration dates on grumbling would alleviate a lot of wasted negative energy and ugly verbiage.
Lessons.
Before I left for Park City, I posed my air travel Q and A with Teake. I am not a fatalist nor does flying make me mortally anxious. However, I use my journeys to proctor a pop quiz to my children. It is the perfect time to make sure that they were – at some point – listening. The test consists of one easy, essay question, “What did your mother teach you?” I told you it was easy.
Without missing a beat, Teake rattled off the answers, “Number one – be kind even when it is inconvenient. Number two – screw savings; see the world. Number three – love people the most when they act like they want, deserve and need it the least (Teake calls this rule ‘The Tyler Years 16-24’).” I was a proud teacher and pleased parent. If Tyler was taking the exam, he would unquestionably substitute “Choose to be happy” for #3.
Advice.
Asking questions results in power. If there were ever three women who demonstrate mastery of this skill, it would be my Park City roommates. Everyone wants to think they know something and – typically – are eager to share. Sharing results in connection. Connection results in networking. Networking results in relationships. Relationships result in friendship and work. Friendship and work result in a richer life – metaphorically and literally. Everywhere these three went, they asked and asked and asked. Free screenings, access to A-list post-parties, potential professional collaborations, and job interviews were realized.
Rules. Lessons. Advice. I am only as good of a teacher as I am a student. I am eager to continue to live, love and learn…from the other side of the desk.
I will end this writing with a call for submissions.
If you would like to contribute to this article, please feel free to post. What did you hear? Learn? Teach me…I am listening
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