The Tale of Two Sylvins

My father passed away on December 21^st after a 4 year battle with cancer. Margaret Edson wrote in her Pulitzer winning play Wit, “How can time hang for so long, yet there is so little of it?” It was a long, hard – yet, way too brief – struggle. I have written many stories about my dad, cancer and lessons learned.  Feel free to snoop around my blog and read them.  However this is not a story about him or us.  I preface the story with this information as it sets the stage for the story of Mel and Chibo.

Because I had interim off from USF, I decided to spend the month of January working at Holy Cross in Ambergris Caye, Belize. Being a Schetnan, and never wanting to miss the party, I decided that I would leave on the 28^th as to celebrate the New Year with so many of my new friends. The passing of my father changed these plans. It was my siblings who demanded I still go on my trip.  Jen agreed to stay for the month to help with mom, and Thad – always our prince – just said, “We will all be here when you get back. Go.” So on January 5^th, I headed to Belize with 200 lbs. of tennis shoes, sweaters and school supplies.

Ms. Lydia, the volunteer coordinator, set me up in a house behind Hotel del Rio.  It was a perfect setting as it directly in between San Pedro Town and San Mateo where Holy Cross is located. Also, I had a great view of the ocean…heaven on a stick. I immediately became friends with those that run the hotel. Like so much of Belize, it is a family affair.  Suyapa runs the office. Her brother Thomas is the manager of the entire facility. Tomas’ wife’s sisters Mel and Nolvia are the housekeepers. The first couple of days, I got to know the women as I had coffee on each morning. Before I headed to school, and they went back to their cleaning, we shared a cup and conversation. Over the next month and since, I have been treated like another sister which includes the perk of being an auntie to Nolvia’s four gorgeous girls.

On my third day, Mel told me she wanted me to meet her husband.  They actually live in one of the units at the hotel, so I had seen him coming and going but had not yet been introduced. This was the conversation:

Mel: Kim this is my husband. Please know since we live right next to you, you will always be safe.

Me (extending my hand):  So glad to meet you; I’m Kim.

Chibo: (grabbing my hand with both of his): Welcome. I’m Sylvin.

After what I am sure was a long and awkward silence from me

Me: Your name is Sylvin?

Chibo: Yes.

Me: How do you spell it?

Chibo: S-Y-L-V-I-N

I just began to cry.

First of all, I have never met another person named Sylvin other than my father.  Secondly, my grandmother – bless her heart – misspelled his name by using an “I” instead of an “a.” After I explained the reason for my tears, I was embraced by my new friend Sylvin.  I immediately emailed my mother and told her not to worry as Sylvin lived next door. These people continue to be my Belizean family.

In early May, I received an email from Mel letting me know that she and Sylvin (Chibo) had moved to Corozal on the mainland.  A week later, I decided to make a last minute trip to the island to watch my students perform in the Festival of the Arts.  Surprising all my friends including them was certainly on the agenda.

When I go to Hotel del Rio, Nolvia asked me if I had heard that Mel and Sylvin had moved off the island.  This was an obviously sad sister.  I told her that I was going to visit them before I left and asked her what prompted the move.  She said that their church had asked to me go as they needed some adults to help in the Corozal community.  Since both Mel’s and Sylvin’s families all live on the island, I was a surprised by the move.

Like every time I go to Belize, time got away from me.  By the last week, I was somewhat resolved that there was just no time or money to sneak away to the mainland. I was deep into working with Ivo and his family and being a little selfish my morning snorkeling time.  Except – darn that Holy Spirit!  It just kept at me.  Since I travel on a limited budget, I knew that if I was going to go, I could only afford the water taxi. I also only had one day and night to make the trip happen.  I could not deny the pull of my heart to carve out the time to visit my dear friends. So, I headed to the taxi at 6:30 am on Monday as their website cited 7 am and 4 pm departures to Corozal.  Let’s just say, the website needs updating.  Two old guys were sitting on the dock drinking Belikins. I asked them if I missed the boat.  Please cue laugh track.  Turns out the boat only leaves at 4. Well, this won’t work as I really can’t afford 2 nights of a hotel and 2 days away from school. Again, I was resolved to making the visit next time.

Later that morning, I was out doing errands.  I needed to secure a tutor for Ivo and Garielle. The Department of Education gave me the name of a woman and they best way to find her is at the airport as her family all works there. While there, I thought, “What the heck, I will just check on flight times and costs to Corozal.”  The woman working the counter said, “Are you the lady who works with the children?” I said yes. The next thing I know, I have a round trip ticket to corozal that she made happen for the same price as the water taxi. Life and God are good.  I emailed Mel and told her that I would be there by 10 the next morning, stay overnight and leave on the 6 am return flight.

I was the only passenger on the flight, so I rode co-pilot with Captain Doug. Mel and Sylvin picked me up via cab. We went immediately to their favorite restaurant to catch up.

We went to their favorite restaurant. We spent our first hour just “catching up.”  Actually, they asked me a lot of questions about what I was doing during this trip at Holy Cross. They asked about my family. They asked about our friends and their family on the island. After we ate, I said, “Well, I am excited to see your new home. This is when things got very quiet.

I cannot effectively tell the next part of this story.  Some of it is because the conversation lasted over 4 hours. Some of it is because it is so personal that I feel honored they trusted me with it. However, most of it is because I just cry when I think through it.

So, here are the Cliff Notes: Sylvin and Mel left the island for the mainland to follow their dream. Skyline (Chebo) was offered a job with the most successful contractor in Corozal District of Belize.  In addition to this opportunity, they were given 6 months free rent so they could begin some saving for a home. Militza (Mel) has a dream of opening her own daycare. On the third day of work, while Chebo was hauling cement to the top of a building, the last rung of the ladder broke. He shattered his right foot.

Days later, the contractor disappeared. It turns out that he is wanted by – well, everybody to whom he owes money.  He left his wife and two small children. He is now wanted by the Belizean authorities. As Sylvin said, “He went from being the ‘toast of the town’ to a fugitive.” 

Sylvin and Militza sold everything they owned to make this move to Corozal.  Now, they have exurbanite medical bills. They have lost their salary, and the apartment they were to have for six months is now for sale so they may have to be out at any time.

After listening to the whole story, I looked right at Sylvin and said, “Can’t you go home? Go back to the island.” Mel, who had been looking at Chibo and holding on to his hand as they shared their story, just began to weep.  Sylvin said, “We are almost forty years old. We were not blessed with children, and through the church here in Corozal, we see a need. I want to be a strong, male role model here, and there is a need for daycare here.  On the island, their opportunities were exhausted.  They no longer wanted to serve tourists.  They want to serve children.

The next question I asked was, “So, what is your plan?” In addition to the daycare, Sylvin and Militza thought that they could make pizzas and sell them. They don’t want to open a parlor, just sell pizzas.  Also, because Sylvin has experience in tourism, he is interested in eventually starting a guide business. Currently, there is no such thing.

The final question was, “How much money do you think you need?”  After a lot of uncomfortable filler on Chibo’s part, I asked again. “Sylvin, how much do you and Mel need?”  The answer was $5,000. “However, the bank will never give it to us. We have nothing to use as collateral.  We lost it all.”

The only other part of this I want to share is what happened when they left me that night at the hotel.  Mel had gone to the bathroom, so I took the opportunity to put $400 in Sylvin’s hand. It was all I could pull from the ATM.  He grabbed both of my hands, looked right at me and said, “I will never forget this day. It is the beginning of Sylvin’s life.”   How amazing to have lost the only other Sylvin I have ever known and loved in December only to meet another Sylvin who loves his wife as much as my father loved his. Also, my father always taught us that, “Pride will kill you.”  This Belizean Sylvin did not let his pride get in the way of my help as it would with many men. 

Now, I ask for you to help me help them.  I am collecting money to give directly to Sylvin and Militza.  I will take any denomination – a dollar to whatever you can spare.  Every penny will go directly to the Foremans. I will be forwarding it directly to their bank account from my account.  I promise you, this is an investment that you can’t lose. 

Feel free to send the money via Paypal at Kim.creativeconsulting@gmail.com  or send me a check:  Kim Bartling 1607 S. 5^th Avenue.  If you are local, I will pick up money.  If you have any other way that you would like to send money, just let me know.  I am up for anything.

Please feel free to call or text me 605-376-8440 or email me at Kim.creativeconsulting@gmail.com

This sure beats shopping at HyVee - gathering my on meal in the sea: lobster, bass, and ceveche dinner!

Caye Cooking with Kim

Friday was a blast! I went over to ask Chedd and Kdell at Reef Adventures if they had a group going out snorkeling at 9.  They said to come back then and they would create a group. I was somewhat disappointed as they called in another guide.  I love going out with Kdell cuz he always brings a little food for the sharks which guarantees LOTS of them, and he takes us in and down around cool coral trails. So, when it was a new guy named Russell, I was skeptical.

The two other couples – I am always with couples during these types of outings – were really cool.  The one couple was from Billings, Montana and the other Sacramento. When we got out to the reef, the man from Calif. asked for a life jacket. Turn out that he can’t swim. Ok, so that sucks for the rest of us as not we will have to go slow and basic; at least, that is my assumption.  Instead, Russell basically leaves this guy to his own devices. At one point, I heard his girlfriend yell, “Hey, can we get some help over here?” Russell acted as if he didn’t hear them and since the current was really strong yesterday, I told him, “Hey, I think they are struggling a bit over there.” He responded, “They are fine.” Weelll…okay then. Once they caught up, I offered my 5 minute snorkel lesson.  The 2 most common mistakes are flipping one’s feet instead of making bicycling movements and looking forward with your snorkel instead of straight down (otherwise you will forever be spitting out salt water).

After a couple of hours with sea turtles, sharks, stingrays and every color of fish imaginable, it was time to head back. Russell was not a talker, but when we docked he asked me what the rest of my day looked like. I said, “Heck to the yes, I do!”

So, after purchasing a couple of snack lunches at the deli – which in Belize means chicken, rice and beans – we headed out.  It was fantastic. We lined fished down the reef until we found some good bait, which Russell scored.  Then we went out to calmer waters to cast fish. When I got to hot fishing, I just jumped in and snorkeled.  This was the entire day – cast, reel and dive!  I wish I could tell you the name of all the fish we caught, but I am not yet that sea water savvy. I can tell you one is called a grunt fish, because when you pull them in that is exactly the sound they are making – weird. Also, I know we caught sea bass because I caught the biggest fish of the day, it was a beautiful bass.

Next came the cooking lesson. I am now a ceviche expert! Unfortunately, our ceviche was illegal as conch season is closed but we gave thanks to the gods of the sea as we did snag a couple so to make my dream of making my own ceviche could come true. On the other hand, Lobster season just opened so Russell dove in and snagged us a couple of those two. Unfortunately, my camera card is being fussy so pictures of the final feast will have to wait!

Also, in island cooking news, I made a “vat” of guacamole last night that was almost a piece of art. The avocados are about the size of a small child. So, I used 3 of them with fresh garlic, tomatoes, cilantro, onions and habaneros. I went a little crazy on the habaneros so the first taste was a…mucho caliente!  I had to jump in the pool because, and I am not kidding, my entire face felt like it had some type of battery acid on it. The answer was simple – add a couple mangos. I feed the entire hotel and staff.  The staff is not used to using avocados in such a way so they were impressed.