Seriously...unless you really love me or want to wallow in SD comfort...DO NOT READ!

Today was a chapter out of The Devil Wears Prada. I schlepped my baby carriage and other props down to Pace University by 11. I was dreaming up all sorts of excuses as it was 10:40, and as SM for I Want What You Have , I think I should have been there by 10 (one hour before rehearsal was to begin). After checking in with Homeland Security (Pace was basically whiped out because of its proximity to the Twin Towers), I waited almost a half an hour before any of the actors or the director showed up…I should have seen this an a sign.

To walk anyone through this step by step would be excruciating. I lived it for all of us. This play is only 12 minutes long; it was mounted in April to great success. Make Mine a Million (an entrepreneurial organization) has contracted The Women’s Project to remount the show as their “entertainment” for this national convention next Tuesday at Pace. We are in the space that Inside the Actor’s Studio is shot.

One would think that remounting a show with the same script, actors and director would be…painless...exciting?...fun? Um……

The first hour – once everyone was there – was dedicated to talking about things like, “Who are these women in the audience?” “Why are they here?” “How does the space speak to us?” Then, the fact that they were asked to perform in front of the grand and on the apron just brought the whole process to a complete stop. When I suggested that this audience had never seen the piece, so whatever they gave them would new and ephemeral, I was immediately corrected. “Kim, it is not that simple. These actors are invested in the performance. An extra chair and limited stage space can break the performance.” Robert Cohen lesson Number 1, “Acting and theatre is serious business, but never take yourself too seriously.”

Once everyone had “discovered” the space on their own terms, Gia gave them a 5 minute bathroom break. 35!!!! minutes later, they returned obsessing about personal dramas….I want to either a)kill them or b)kill myself.

Blocking rehearsal begins. The bottom line is that 1.5 hours later, they only have their entrance and initial tableau completed. Highlights include:

*Mispronouncing Gia’s name. I was saying it with a soft g (like gee). Evidently, it is a hard g (like girl.) I said, “Oh, I am so sorry. I wish you had corrected me immediately.” She responded, “I did not want to embarrass you.” Me: ”It takes a lot to embarrass me. In fact, I am not sure if I have ever been totally embarrassed.” (Mind you, she waited until the day was almost done, and she screamed this information across the stage….but she did not want to embarrass me).

*Gia (with a hard g) could not figure out how to get all the actors on the stage on the right count. Finally, I suggested that they come from the house (she is the one so concerned with who these women in the audience are…this would let them bond with them…feel their energy…feel their struggle…feel their pain... you all know I am being a complete smart ass right?) Right after this, one of the actors said that the line she had just did not “feel right”. Gia (with a hard g) got all stiff, put her chin up, clinched her jaw and said, “I appreciate all your ideas, and I just want you to know that I have thought about all of them throughout my process. You are just going to have to trust me.”…I did not open my mouth again.

There is so much more to this, but it may just be funny and frustrating to me. I just kept with my stock responses, “I am taking care of it” and “No problems; I have a call in.” I called Jim on the way home and told him that we need to appreciate each other more.

Next, I needed to get up to 6th and 42nd to pick up the 100 cupcakes for tonight’s Women’s Project Gala. The problem was that I could not get into my apartment to drop off the stroller etc because Law and Order was shooting on my street. I finally convinced them to let me through. I picked up the cupcakes at Crumbs, FINALLY got a cab (which is tough to do with no arm to spare at rush hour), dropped them off at the theatre and hauled butt home to get ready.
I had a wonderful evening. I served, I schmoozed and I smiled. I had two favorite moments:

#1 The performance. We were walked around the space (on-stage, backstage, wings, hallways, green room and even the street) to experience Suzan-Lori Parks 365. I have seen 9 shows since arriving in NYC and this was the best 30 minutes of theatre that I have seen. I can’t wait to do it.

#2 I had called Tamilla (one of the actors in I Want What You Have) earlier because she took off with the Blackberry prop (I needed to paint it white by Friday). She said she would bring it to the gala. I talked to her briefly earlier in the eve. However, later in the night, I went to remind her to give me the prop before she left. It went something like this…

Me: Tamilla, can I get the Blackberry before you take off?

Tamilla: Sure. Kim called me about it.

Me: Um…yeah.

Tamilla: Will you give it to her?

Me: What?

Tamilla: Kim. Will you make sure she gets it?

Me: I am confused.

Tamilla: Why? Did you talk to Kim?

Me: I am Kim,

Tamilla: Huh?

Me: I am Kim.

Tamilla: I don’t get it.

Me: Me either.

Tamilla: How do you know Kim? You and I met before right? At a LAB event?

Me: I am Kim.

Tamilla: What?

Me: This morning? Rehearsal?

Tamilla (She looks long and hard at me and then begins to scream) OHMYGOD!

Me: What?

Tamilla: You are gorgeous.

Me: Excuse me?

Tamilla: No (she pulls people in) she was in braids, a hat and flip flops this morning. I feel so
dumb. KIM!!

She continued on this was for the next 20 minutes. I am not sure if it was degrading…a compliment…or….EMBARRASSING!!!