Shine On....

This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

As a small child this was my favorite Sunday school song. Even today I find myself sneaking it into my shower repertoire between the Oscar Meyer song and the Tanya Tucker’s classic Delta Dawn.

This song is based on the Mathew 5:16 verse, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your fine works and give glory to your Father who is in the heaven." I love this verse and as an oldest child who should be in Type A recovery, I live this verse. I have always worked hard – to be all things to all people.

I am still trying to scrub off the residue of a difficult year. This film – this coating – not only was confining, it was humiliating. It was heavy. It was dark. For the first time in my life, I struggled to keep my pilot light lit. It was being blown out by individuals who were not interested in my past fire…the life and work that sparked my daily existence. I was not in a place of warmth, and I could not find the energy to continue to stoke my own flame. Personally, professionally and spiritually I was burnt out.

It is officially advent – the season of hope and light. It is my favorite time of the year. As South Dakotans we have the corner market on viscerally living the season in our northern plains snow globe – a safe, small world of controlled blizzards; it takes very little outside motion to disturb our Currier and Ives aesthetics. However, I have noted that when you turn a snow globe upside down all the structures remain frozen in place…the buildings, the flora, even the light posts are fixed.

As we return home to gather around decorated Christmas trees and fireplaces, it is a good reminder that no matter where we have been shaken and tossed throughout the year, we eventually can settle again in the warmth of family and home – whatever and wherever that may be. However, once it has been shaken, it can never be the same as it had once been.

While wallowing around in the muck of my life, I have been advised to just get over it. Be happy. Smile. Forget about it. Move on. However it is all too heavy to just pick up my life where I left it last spring. So, I am choosing to work out so I just get stronger – call it an early New Year’s Resolution. I am going to bench press my bad press. I am going to squat out the external squawking. I am going to keep my chin up by doing chin lifts, I am going to free up the weight of regret with free weights. I am going to own it so that it all seems lighter and then – just then – maybe I too will lighten up.

My favorite advent scripture is from Isaiah 9:2,6

The people walking in darkness

have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of deep darkness

a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I have been walking around in darkness long enough stumbling and uncovering potholes – about me, my friends, my family, my past and my future. However, I believe that I see a soft beam of light (his name just may Teake Bartling) willing to lead the way. God placed the boon of light in each of us, and it is my responsibility to “let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” I am gaining strength and building my fire with the dense kindling of my past, and hope to soon illuminate love and reflect wisdom to those in my path.

“Hide it under a bush”….No more.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN from NYC!

It is the biggest holiday in the city... Frankly, in the West Village every night is a little like Halloween; on any given night there is a drag show. Here are a few shots from in and around my neighborhood.

Doug Hughes and Kim Bartling

Old Friends - New Friends

I got up yesterday to do a bit of shopping at my favorite spots. Also, I was going to meet my former student and dear friend Mitch Maguire and his 4 month old daughter Sadie so I needed to stop by Barnes and Noble. I picked her up all my favorite titles: Horray for Wodney Wat, Where the Wild Things are, Chrysanthemum, Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Bedhead, Fancy Nancy. Mom had also china painted her a baby bootie with her birthday and vitals.

It was so fun to see Mitch and his new daughter. She is absolutely gorgeous with eyelashes that go on for miles and soft blue-grey eyes. I got to hold her the entire hour…loved it. It was good to catch up with Mitch; he will forever be one of the most important people in my life.

Next, I dashed off to the Atlantic Theatre Company to interview Doug Hughes for my book. Wow. He is not only a brilliant director, he is gracious, warm and refreshingly unguarded. He was the easiest interview yet; he just free associated the words with not only his approach to the stage but also just him as a man in the world. Considering how swamped he is with work (he had just finished rehearsal the then they had a preview performance at 8), I was thrilled that he gave me an hour and a half window.
On the way out, I grabbed a student ticket and who was working? Fran who I met numerous times through the Women’s Project and had already ran into at the performance of Speed the Plow. The theatre world is very, very small.
Farragut North was frighteningly time relevant. It was about the dog eats dog world of political spin. It starred Chris Noth and John Gallagher Jr. The young girl was particularly good. The space is very small; it seats around 200 and her choices were subtle and smart.

After the play, I waited to tell Doug Hughes how much I enjoyed the conversation. I did say hi to Chris Noth, but I did not remind him that we were in Alaska together in 2002. As I waited, I could not help but watch Olivia Thilby . I decided that I would ask him for an interview as he would certainly lower the age demographic, and – let’s face it – since his performance as Moritz in Spring Awakening, he is the hottest young actor on the scene.

He was wonderful to the all of young people waiting to speak with him. In fact, he was so good, that it took forever for me to speak with him. When I did, he acted like I was the first person to ever give him a compliment. He gave me his full attention and preceeded to tell me how lucky he is. I told him that there may be a bit of luck, but he is successful because it is obvious that he treats people with respect. He will always work because people want to work with him. It would be fun to interview him.

I went home happy again. I saw good friends, good theatre and good manners.

Variety is the Spice of Theatrical Life

On Wednesday, I went to A Man for All Seasons at the American Airline Theatre. It starred the great Frank Langella and it was the first time in a long time that I cried in the theatre. It was oozed class. Things found in my notebook after the show

• Never underestimate the power of light as a metaphor. There was an point when Cromwell snuffed out the light of enlightenment.
• Off stage sounds should never be forgotten
• Hughes is the king of directing scene changes; they are deliberate and orchestrated
• In the design there are lots of lines to cross – in the flooring, the beams, the doors, etc.
• Excellen t playfulness of Henry VIII. He was depicted as a walking party…he even had musicians traveling him. He was an infectious personality.
• Sir Thomas Moore: “God is too subtle.”
• “It is not holy; it is just old. You can’t see it or touch it ….it is theory.
• “I trust I make myself obscure?
• Thought is the middle…Kirby Wilcoxson is a modern day Sir Thomas Moore
• The law is not a light in which to see by.
  

The reason I found myself tearing up was first the relationship between Moore and his daughter Margaret and his wife…he respected them and protected them. The other reason was because it was a student matinee. When I bought my ticket, they basically apologized that the house would be full of students. I said, “I taught high school for 12 years. I am totally up for the challenge.” It was an honor to be in the audience. The show was close to 3 hours long and they were so engaged.

During the curtain call, Frank Langella stopped to address them. He told them that they were the best audience ever and that this play addresses the issue of conscience. He said, “It is of great importance to listen to one conscience and know the man or woman that your are voting to represent you in the affairs of the state. It was sincere and it made an impact.
After the show, I dropped some interview requests at Speed the Plow for Jeremy Piven and Raul Esparza. Then, I ran up to 54th to grab some soup from my favorite spot…yum. Seafood Chowder and Crab Bisque.

That night I attended Fifty-Words at the Lucille Lortel which is three blocks from my home. Ummmm…it was scary in a ohmygodIdonotwanttobethesepeople sort of way. Norbert Butz who is a huge Broadway name drives me nuts…he pulls the last vowel in the last word of each sentence. The pattern is irritating.

New plays – old plays. Young audiences – old audiences. Broadway - Off, Off Broadway, 1ooo in the house – 2oo in the house….I love the variety right outside of my door.