Standing Still

I just finished reading Three Weeks with my Brother by Nicholas Sparks. I have to admit that I've never been a big fan of his novels and subsequent movies as they are a bit too sentimental for my taste. However, after reading this memoir, I have a completely new perspective on how he writes and the impetus for his work.

In Three Weeks, Sparks travels around the world with brother Micah. He does a beautiful job of taking the readers - not only to destinations such as Mayan Ruins, Easter Island, Malta, etc - but he also lets the readers journey with him as he revisits his childhood and all the landmarks that shaped him as a brother, son, husband, father and novelist.

Simply, I was inspired. Nicholas Sparks reminded me of the importance of sibling bonds and owning one’s family’s dynamics. “Perseverance and “stillness” are two words that I think of when reflecting of the book.

This past week, a friend of mine confessed his brain never allows him to be satisfied. He is highly successful, has achieved awards and positions at a young age, and has a family that loves, support and celebrates him. However, he never is satisfied….or still.

Granted, he has an extremely high pressure job. However, he never enjoys any of the success that comes with it. He only obsesses about the nuances of how to make it better. As he was midstream in a verbal rant, I found myself reaching out and placing my hand on his chest. He immediately looked confused – almost shocked – but he was silent. I just wanted my energy to quiet his heart.

Sparks refers to I Corinthians 10:13 in his book. God keeps his promise, and he will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the same time you are put to the test, he will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out.

My past couple of years have been challenging. I have declared numerous times in my life that I am the strongest broad that I know and that I fear nothing…except God. In truth, as of late, I have never felt weaker or more afraid and yet….I have found a quietness that has saved my life.

I did not find this silence on my own. Ironically, it has taken a group of strangers to show me the path to reclaiming my own space and adjusting the volume in it. Right now, I am trudging through a personal path thick with mud and cockleburs. However, it will eventually wash off, and I can pick off the rest. More importantly, I have discovered that I can do it on my own time and in a quiet place. Once it is off, it may leave a film and a few scars, but ultimately I will feel lighter than ever before. I have been provided with a way out. But for right now… I am just standing still, breathing in and out and being quiet.