Monkey Business

The following is a true facebook chat with my sister (with a little scrubbing to make it PG rated :)

Me: I have to tell you about my adventure to Lamani yesterday. Lamani is the largest of the Mayan ruins. The boat picked me up on the dock at 7. There was a party of 25 booked on this boat trip – twelve couples and me. Yup. And no one wanted to be my friend.

When we got to the river at the mainland, we switched guides and boat to take us into the country up this river. He said, "if a money jumps in the boat, you can feed it peanuts or granola if you have it." Well, I happen to have granola along.

Sure enough, a monkey jumps in. Everyone is delighted. I have granola in my hand, so it came right to me. The next thing I know, the monkey starts to choke. Seriously choking. It places its hands around its neck for the Heimlich Maneuver.

 The guide yells, "Don’t feed it Cracker Jacks!"

 I said, "I didn't...really...it was just a nut and some oats...no honey or anything."

 In the meantime, the monkey curls up in the fetal position, wraps its arms around its head and begins to cry.

 Jennie: So you’re killing the wildlife of Belize?

Me: A woman on the other side of the boat yells, “You did too give it Cracker Jacks; I saw it!" I am pleading with everyone that I really didn't.  Pretty soon, the monkey just gets up and jumps out of the boat.

I swear to God that monkey was TOTALLY over dramatic about the whole thing.  Everyone hated me.

Jennie: Unbelievable. Thrown under the “boat” by a complete stranger!

Me: On the way back, - much to my surprise and dismay - it was a booze cruise. The company supplied endless rum punch and Belekin. Of course, I can't drink, because of my antibiotics.  I am the only one not partaking. So, they think I am “little miss priss.”  The only saving grace was out boat driver from Ambergris Caye to the Mainland was an absolutely adorable Belizian kid named Aaron - a smile to die for. He liked me and I helped serve drinks. Of course, there was no gratuity for me. Jennie: So, was it cracker jack? Truth. Me: NO...why would I have cracker jack? They are just lucky I didn't correct them as they kept saying “Cracker Jacks “ It is “Cracker Jack” no “s.” Seriously...the monkey had issues Jennie: I would have dumped out my purse to show them that I didn't have cracker jack. What a bunch of jerks. Me: Also, I lowered the age on the trip (other than the guides) by 15 years. Lesson learned. Next time poll the roster Before setting sail…I should have learned this from years of watching Gillian’s Island.