An the Oscar Goes to.....

Monkey Business

The following is a true facebook chat with my sister (with a little scrubbing to make it PG rated :)

Me: I have to tell you about my adventure to Lamani yesterday. Lamani is the largest of the Mayan ruins. The boat picked me up on the dock at 7. There was a party of 25 booked on this boat trip – twelve couples and me. Yup. And no one wanted to be my friend.

When we got to the river at the mainland, we switched guides and boat to take us into the country up this river. He said, "if a money jumps in the boat, you can feed it peanuts or granola if you have it." Well, I happen to have granola along.

Sure enough, a monkey jumps in. Everyone is delighted. I have granola in my hand, so it came right to me. The next thing I know, the monkey starts to choke. Seriously choking. It places its hands around its neck for the Heimlich Maneuver.

 The guide yells, "Don’t feed it Cracker Jacks!"

 I said, "I didn't...really...it was just a nut and some oats...no honey or anything."

 In the meantime, the monkey curls up in the fetal position, wraps its arms around its head and begins to cry.

 Jennie: So you’re killing the wildlife of Belize?

Me: A woman on the other side of the boat yells, “You did too give it Cracker Jacks; I saw it!" I am pleading with everyone that I really didn't.  Pretty soon, the monkey just gets up and jumps out of the boat.

I swear to God that monkey was TOTALLY over dramatic about the whole thing.  Everyone hated me.

Jennie: Unbelievable. Thrown under the “boat” by a complete stranger!

Me: On the way back, - much to my surprise and dismay - it was a booze cruise. The company supplied endless rum punch and Belekin. Of course, I can't drink, because of my antibiotics.  I am the only one not partaking. So, they think I am “little miss priss.”  The only saving grace was out boat driver from Ambergris Caye to the Mainland was an absolutely adorable Belizian kid named Aaron - a smile to die for. He liked me and I helped serve drinks. Of course, there was no gratuity for me. Jennie: So, was it cracker jack? Truth. Me: NO...why would I have cracker jack? They are just lucky I didn't correct them as they kept saying “Cracker Jacks “ It is “Cracker Jack” no “s.” Seriously...the monkey had issues Jennie: I would have dumped out my purse to show them that I didn't have cracker jack. What a bunch of jerks. Me: Also, I lowered the age on the trip (other than the guides) by 15 years. Lesson learned. Next time poll the roster Before setting sail…I should have learned this from years of watching Gillian’s Island.

Teaching "Thriller" as part of the "Wild Rumpus"

Amoeba, Movies and Music...Oh My!

I haven’t posted a lot this trip.  I guess some of it is that I have settled in a bit.  I don’t feel as if I am on vacation; I am just living. My days are similar as I wake around 8, eat breakfast, read, prepare for school and then head off to Holy Cross.  We are working on 2 plays in Standard 4.  One class is performing Where the Wild Things Are and the other is performing A Melody Off Key.  So, I have been gathering props and working on choreography. 

Today, I also went into Infant 2 and did theatre songs: Bingo, The Shark Song, Head – Shoulders – Knees and Toes, The Hokey Pokey, The Moose Song and Jesus Loves Me.  My dear, sweet Garielle is in that class and wanted me to come.  They are adorable.

The big news has been my “amoeba.”  Over a week ago, I came down with a parasite.  I will admit, it scared me a bit.  I have never passed so much blood or been in that much pain – not even in labor.  Monday morning, I went straight to the clinic.  Want a true 3^rd world experience?  Head to the one of two doctors on the island on a Monday – all that was missing was a goat and chicken.  Babies were lined up for nebulizers; I guess this is common practice for colds etc.  One woman walked in dilated at 10. Less than 15 minutes, the baby was crying and 2 hours later, the whole family was leaving. I was still waiting to see the doctor. 

Once called, you sat opposite of the doctor in his office (the door never shuts, so you can watch each consult). I told him my symptoms; he never looked directly at any of the patients. Then – in the same room  -  he did an ultra-sound of my stomach.  I then had to produce a sample of the alien output.  He said, “You have an amoeba. Do you know amoeba?” Me: “Like a parasite?”  He responded, “Amoeba.”  The nurse told me she had seen worse as I had to leave the sample with her.  I can’t imagine.

I am on my 9^th day of antibiotics and feeling pretty crappy.  There is nothing like a parasite in your intestines to slow a girl down on Fantasy Island.  It has been a lot of Ramen noodles, crackers, diet ginger ale and cereal.  It is a lot like college but without the beer.  Also, I figure that I am only about 2 more bouts of dysentery away from my goal weight.

At night, I read a lot and watch movies on my computer.  There is a Chinese place on Front Street that sells movies for $2.50. They are new release pirates. I am sure it is illegal as the day is long, but the store seems to do well.  When I return to the states, feel free to borrow from my new collection: Moneyball; Eat, Pray, Love; The Runaways; For Colored Girls; Like Water for Elephants; Bridesmaids; Burlesque; Like Crazy; and Friends with Benefits.  Also, if you have anything you really want me to bring home, just ask.

This was what I woke up to this morning - a drawing of my house and me. The artist is Ivo!

Playing Offense - dedicated to my dear friend Susie Garry Weber

Years ago, when I was an English teacher, I was introduced to the phrase “bean counter.”  I had absolutely no idea what it meant.  I had gone into the principal’s office to voice a concern.  He responded with the phrase, “Well, Kim, there are a lot of bean counters in the world, and you just have to acknowledge and accept that.”  I had absolutely no idea what that meant.  I called my dad.

Back up 15 years from that moment.  It is junior high basketball.  I am tall, so it allows me a ticket to the court.  I played the center position from the first time I walked on the court until the last.  Let’s just say, at some point I realized that 5’ 9” is not an advantage of a center. In the meantime, I am burning up hormones on the court. 

So, we are at the end of the Jr. High season.  I am home, making dinner and setting the table.  Dad says, “How’s basketball Tootse.”  I offer the general middle school banality. However, at our dinner table, I  decided to poll the audience about my latest lack of denotative skills.

Me:  Do any of you know what defense or offense means?

Dad: What do you mean?

Me: Well, the coach uses those words a lot. 

Dad: Yeah?

Me: I don’t know what he means?

Dad: What do you mean, you don’t know what he means?

Me: Well, he yells, “Play defense,” and everyone else seems to know what it means, but I don’t.

My dad (and brother but that was kind of normal) just looked at me – speechless.  I knew what I suppose to do when I had the ball, and I knew what I was suppose to do when I didn’t.  Who knew it had names?  Obviously, everyone but me.

About 2 months ago, I was sitting with my father at chemo. I rarely missed a chemo appointment as it was time with dad where I got to watch him do what he did best - make others feel better.  As I perused my email on my laptop, I got white.  An ongoing issue that has been causing me undo stress had risen its ugly head again that morning. 

I never talked to dad about issues that dealt with conflict. Some of it was because as a kid, any conflict I had usually was at school.  If the conflict was with a teacher, the response from dad was, “You fix it, or I will.  You are not going to like how I fix it.”  That meant that the teacher was always right, and I needed to suck it up and make it right.  If the conflict was with another student dad would say, “First, you are not nearly as important as you think you are.  There is no way they are giving this as much thought and energy as you are.”  If he actually saw evidence of unfair treatment he would point out, “Well, if they pick on you, they are leaving someone else alone. Toughen up.”

So, here I am with mean kids again.  That is a lesson that I have learned over the years. No matter if you are 9, 19 or 49, there will always be mean kids.  I look over at dad and decide to have him read the email. I brace for the advice. 

“Quit playing defense.  Grab the ball, control the game and play smart offense” was all he said. This time I understood the terms clearly. 

You Can Take the Girls Out of South Dakota but You Can't the South Dakota Out of the Girl!

South Dakota in the House!

The Theory of Dakotativity is alive and well on the island.  When coming back to the hotel to change for my Friday swim, I heard, “Kim Bartling?”  Lou Ann (Dystra) Jensen a longtime friend – we were both in Bennewies Hall together at SDSU – was standing in the main office. Unbelieveable.  After a chorus of “holy shit” from both of us, we made plans to meet for a walk into town after my swim and run. 
Lou has two beautiful daughters that are along on the trip – Kristi and Anne.  They hav  been gracious enough to let me tag along.  I do love my quiet time, but adventures such as snorkeling are so much more fun when sharing the awe.  Oh and let’s not forget our Friday night at the Lion’s Den playing bingo with the locals – priceless!

It has been lovely meeting Lou in such a different environment.  She still directs high school one-acts and oral interp, so we see each periodically.  However, to talk as two women – two teachers from small town South Dakota on the quiet white beach of Ambergris Cay, is an intimate offering.  She is a woman to be admired, and I do.

Garielle (on right) and his Cousin Christian

Island Love

On Friday afternoon, my boyfriend and I had arranged to go swimming after school in the lagoon.  I met my boyfriend last March, and I hate to brag, but he followed me around until I gave in to his shy, but subtle ways.   Garielle is the stereotypically tropical, dark and handsome man of which dreams are made.  He is not – however – tall. He holds hope that his 8^th birthday will arrive bearing inches, but his Mayan heritage is working against him.  Garielle is the sweetest boy.  He is extremely quiet and even when he does speak, which become more each day, he struggles with articulation.  This is not uncommon as Creole barely requires their mouths to open. 

Garielle is the youngest child by quite a bit.  His 18 year sister works in a tourist shop and his 15 year old brother dropped out of school to drive a boat.  His parent own a bar on back street, and they live about it. His mother is dying of throat cancer. I was telling him about the HUGE land crab that greeted me in my house the other day and that I screamed extremely loud because I thought it was a rat. He laughed and said, “Rats won’t hurt you either miss. They are many in our house.”  If I could sweep him away I would, but his life is his.  He is a little boy with a family.

Two Tangibles Closer to Being Belizean!

I bought a bike and my own snorkeling gear.  Another favorite child’s – Junior – dad deals in bikes of all sorts: 4 to 2 wheels, motors to pedals. He constructed this bike for me at a cost of $75.  It was a bargain!  Also, when I went to pick it up, Terry and Westside invited me in for dinner – conch stew!

Three Island Staples: Your Own Bike and Snorkeling Gear and Jr.

Our Dock By Night

Festival of the Arts

A week has passed and life here lies somewhere between lazy and busy. The only complaint I have are the sand flies.  I have never experienced them before on previous trips, but they are making up for it now.  I realize I have put on some weight, but I had no idea I would be the juiciest thing on the island.

Theatre has begun at Holy Cross!  Each May, Ambergris Caye sponsor a “Festival of the Arts.”  Each school is encouraged to participate.  This year HC Standard 4 will be presenting two short one act musicals: Where the Wild Things are and A Melody Off-Key!  I will get the basic structure in place and then the teachers will continue to work with them until the actual festival in May. This week revolved around basic theatre skills. On Monday we start the serious rehearsals!  Pray for me.

All the student I have been working with are really open to theatre – which is completely new to most of them.  The biggest obstacle are 2 fold: 1. The girls all just want to dance like Shakira all the time  2.When they get up front to perform, they forgo the “formal English” and Creole sets in.  So, for the most part, it looks great to me, but I have no idea what they are saying J

Girls Rule at Building Roads!

And we complain about potholes.....

The Road Ahead

As the great Western philosopher Dolly Pardon once said, “If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one." It’s not like I don’t like the road I have been walking on, it is that it has just come to a fork in the road. 

Don’t worry; I am not going to quote Frost or Yogi Berra at this point. Instead, I hoped on a plane, flew 2,000 miles and this morning worked 4 hours throwing rock and shoveling sand as I helped build roads in San Mateo. 

There is nothing like physically working side by side with children to adults - including locals, a group from Ole Miss, a guy who walked out of his life in Calgary Canada, and me – to make you appreciate the global beauty and efficiency of collaboration.

It was fun to see familiar faces as many of the children attend Holy Cross.  Also, my family will be proud to know that my throwing rock skills have made me a bit of a celebrity. One woman actually yelled, “She can throw like a man.”  They men like me, but unlike the Rasta guys on the island, they are shy and respectful.

I have promised myself that during this time on the island I am working to make my heart bigger and my body smaller – this morning was a perfect exercise regimen

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My Backyard

My Front Yard

Belize 2012

Well, I arrived in Belize City at approximately 5 pm on Wed., December 4th. I came with 3 more USF athletic equipment bags full of Tennis Shoes - @ 80 pairs.  Also, there were school supplies and toys. I also had 2 suitcases packed with my clothes and more shoes, supplies and toys.  Altogether it was 250 # of guarantee smiles.

I knew the biggest obstacle of the day was going to get the luggage off the conveyer, through customs, and to the water taxi across town.  Also, I was a bit concerned about getting it all from the San Pedro taxi stop to my home for the month.  However, all your Facebook and Family prayers worked as it was a breeze!!  The only problem was customs who decided I wasn’t as cute as I was in March, so I had to pay @ $100 in duty.  Dang!

Mason, the taxi driver, was more than willing to help me with my bags and even offered me his home free of charge if I wanted to hang out in Belize City for a while….see I told you all the people here were friendly!  Don’t worry mom and Thad, not even I am that naïve.

We made it in time for the last water taxi of the day, and @ 2 hours later, the lovely boys San Pedro carried everything from the beach right to a waiting beat-up van on Front Street!  Yes. A whole $5 later, my bags were in my amazing house, and I was off to get a $2 burrito in Central Park.

I was in bed by 9:30 – those that know me, acknowledge that means that I was exhausted.  I slept until 1 pm this afternoon – that doesn’t surprise anyone who knows me.

Unpacking, learning the names of those I will spend a lot of time around – housekeepers and groundskeeper for this hotel, shopkeepers within 5 minutes, etc have consumed most of the afternoon.  I have my own house behind, so I plan on doing my own housekeeping.

I have to say, that I am beyond surprised by my dwelling.  Ms. Lydia from Holy Cross set it up, and I got the feeling that it was going to be “kind of” a shack.  Ummm….no.  It is a 2 story home anything I could want.  I will post pic here and on Facebook. 

I love this house because it epitomizes all that I admire on the island. Out the front – from the veranda, is the view of the Caribbean. Looking out the back windows are the locals doing the best they can.  I love living somewhere in between.

A couple of disclaimers – 1. I will not be giving a complete “diary” of my days, but please know if I do, it is purely self-indulgent so I can go back and relive.  I hope to have more entries of  discoveries, insights and ramblings  2.I include prices just so those of you back home reading along get an idea of the cost of living; there is nothing we Americans understand better than price tags J

 School is still not in session for Christmas break, so I will not be going to Holy Cross tile next week.  In the meantime, many of the children are on the beach playing….guess where I am off to next?