Who is Teaching Who?

Rules. Lessons. Advice. In January, while playing with other grown-ups at the Sundance Film Festival, I was reminded of my own rules, lessons and advice. This is what I get when those other grown-ups used to be my students. After 23 years of teaching, I am proud to call former student…friends.

So, three (Christen, Cassie and Angela) of my best and brightest joined me in Park City. After a less than stellar screening, Christen asked for my thoughts. I must have grimaced because she followed with, “Do we have to save it to the bus? “ I laughed, I cried, I had a catharsis.

Rules.

It is thirteen years after her graduation, and she is still adhering to rules I taught her when she was 14. “Save it for the bus” meant that my dear oral interpers or actors were not permitted to critique the competition until - you got it - they were safely in the van (or bus) after the event. Once in the vehicle, they were allowed to vent. …for ten minutes. Comments came quick. They were brutal, judgmental and petty. Then, they were to assess the learning curve, make personal and presentation adjustments, and let it go.

“Save it for the van” is still sound, applicable advice for most situations. One should always put some time and space between experiencing frustrations and expressing them. Furthermore, placing expiration dates on grumbling would alleviate a lot of wasted negative energy and ugly verbiage.

Lessons.

Before I left for Park City, I posed my air travel Q and A with Teake. I am not a fatalist nor does flying make me mortally anxious. However, I use my journeys to proctor a pop quiz to my children. It is the perfect time to make sure that they were – at some point – listening. The test consists of one easy, essay question, “What did your mother teach you?” I told you it was easy.

Without missing a beat, Teake rattled off the answers, “Number one – be kind even when it is inconvenient. Number two – screw savings; see the world. Number three – love people the most when they act like they want, deserve and need it the least (Teake calls this rule ‘The Tyler Years 16-24’).” I was a proud teacher and pleased parent. If Tyler was taking the exam, he would unquestionably substitute “Choose to be happy” for #3.

Advice.

Asking questions results in power. If there were ever three women who demonstrate mastery of this skill, it would be my Park City roommates. Everyone wants to think they know something and – typically – are eager to share. Sharing results in connection. Connection results in networking. Networking results in relationships. Relationships result in friendship and work. Friendship and work result in a richer life – metaphorically and literally. Everywhere these three went, they asked and asked and asked. Free screenings, access to A-list post-parties, potential professional collaborations, and job interviews were realized.

Rules. Lessons. Advice. I am only as good of a teacher as I am a student. I am eager to continue to live, love and learn…from the other side of the desk.

I will end this writing with a call for submissions.

If you would like to contribute to this article, please feel free to post. What did you hear? Learn? Teach me…I am listening


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Shine On....

This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine.
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

As a small child this was my favorite Sunday school song. Even today I find myself sneaking it into my shower repertoire between the Oscar Meyer song and the Tanya Tucker’s classic Delta Dawn.

This song is based on the Mathew 5:16 verse, "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your fine works and give glory to your Father who is in the heaven." I love this verse and as an oldest child who should be in Type A recovery, I live this verse. I have always worked hard – to be all things to all people.

I am still trying to scrub off the residue of a difficult year. This film – this coating – not only was confining, it was humiliating. It was heavy. It was dark. For the first time in my life, I struggled to keep my pilot light lit. It was being blown out by individuals who were not interested in my past fire…the life and work that sparked my daily existence. I was not in a place of warmth, and I could not find the energy to continue to stoke my own flame. Personally, professionally and spiritually I was burnt out.

It is officially advent – the season of hope and light. It is my favorite time of the year. As South Dakotans we have the corner market on viscerally living the season in our northern plains snow globe – a safe, small world of controlled blizzards; it takes very little outside motion to disturb our Currier and Ives aesthetics. However, I have noted that when you turn a snow globe upside down all the structures remain frozen in place…the buildings, the flora, even the light posts are fixed.

As we return home to gather around decorated Christmas trees and fireplaces, it is a good reminder that no matter where we have been shaken and tossed throughout the year, we eventually can settle again in the warmth of family and home – whatever and wherever that may be. However, once it has been shaken, it can never be the same as it had once been.

While wallowing around in the muck of my life, I have been advised to just get over it. Be happy. Smile. Forget about it. Move on. However it is all too heavy to just pick up my life where I left it last spring. So, I am choosing to work out so I just get stronger – call it an early New Year’s Resolution. I am going to bench press my bad press. I am going to squat out the external squawking. I am going to keep my chin up by doing chin lifts, I am going to free up the weight of regret with free weights. I am going to own it so that it all seems lighter and then – just then – maybe I too will lighten up.

My favorite advent scripture is from Isaiah 9:2,6

The people walking in darkness

have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of deep darkness

a light has dawned.

For to us a child is born,

to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called

Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

I have been walking around in darkness long enough stumbling and uncovering potholes – about me, my friends, my family, my past and my future. However, I believe that I see a soft beam of light (his name just may Teake Bartling) willing to lead the way. God placed the boon of light in each of us, and it is my responsibility to “let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.” I am gaining strength and building my fire with the dense kindling of my past, and hope to soon illuminate love and reflect wisdom to those in my path.

“Hide it under a bush”….No more.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN from NYC!

It is the biggest holiday in the city... Frankly, in the West Village every night is a little like Halloween; on any given night there is a drag show. Here are a few shots from in and around my neighborhood.

Doug Hughes and Kim Bartling

Old Friends - New Friends

I got up yesterday to do a bit of shopping at my favorite spots. Also, I was going to meet my former student and dear friend Mitch Maguire and his 4 month old daughter Sadie so I needed to stop by Barnes and Noble. I picked her up all my favorite titles: Horray for Wodney Wat, Where the Wild Things are, Chrysanthemum, Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Bedhead, Fancy Nancy. Mom had also china painted her a baby bootie with her birthday and vitals.

It was so fun to see Mitch and his new daughter. She is absolutely gorgeous with eyelashes that go on for miles and soft blue-grey eyes. I got to hold her the entire hour…loved it. It was good to catch up with Mitch; he will forever be one of the most important people in my life.

Next, I dashed off to the Atlantic Theatre Company to interview Doug Hughes for my book. Wow. He is not only a brilliant director, he is gracious, warm and refreshingly unguarded. He was the easiest interview yet; he just free associated the words with not only his approach to the stage but also just him as a man in the world. Considering how swamped he is with work (he had just finished rehearsal the then they had a preview performance at 8), I was thrilled that he gave me an hour and a half window.
On the way out, I grabbed a student ticket and who was working? Fran who I met numerous times through the Women’s Project and had already ran into at the performance of Speed the Plow. The theatre world is very, very small.
Farragut North was frighteningly time relevant. It was about the dog eats dog world of political spin. It starred Chris Noth and John Gallagher Jr. The young girl was particularly good. The space is very small; it seats around 200 and her choices were subtle and smart.

After the play, I waited to tell Doug Hughes how much I enjoyed the conversation. I did say hi to Chris Noth, but I did not remind him that we were in Alaska together in 2002. As I waited, I could not help but watch Olivia Thilby . I decided that I would ask him for an interview as he would certainly lower the age demographic, and – let’s face it – since his performance as Moritz in Spring Awakening, he is the hottest young actor on the scene.

He was wonderful to the all of young people waiting to speak with him. In fact, he was so good, that it took forever for me to speak with him. When I did, he acted like I was the first person to ever give him a compliment. He gave me his full attention and preceeded to tell me how lucky he is. I told him that there may be a bit of luck, but he is successful because it is obvious that he treats people with respect. He will always work because people want to work with him. It would be fun to interview him.

I went home happy again. I saw good friends, good theatre and good manners.